What might people say?

Everyone around me knows that ive got various financial difficulties with college, its been one of my huge gripes that the government doesnt take me into account when it factors how much to give to whom. But, as usual, the apathy of the student populus kicks in, and when i start talking about doing something about this, people just ignore it. Anyway, thats not what i wanted to write about.

The rent on where i live has become due, and its more than my student loan covers, and as usual, we all make the comments about being fantastically broke, and not being able to afford bread and all that. Of course, conversation often turns to ways to make money, and along with robbing banks and casinos (our favourite), of course, being an escort always gets thrown in by someone somewhere, on a similar such level to robbing said banks.

Except now those conversations take on a whole new meaning for me. I wonder what my face gives away, becuase i havent got a clue what to say! This is part of what i do in my private life, i dont need to share it with the world (which seems somewhat ironic, but im just not in that place). Especially when on the way in from my first client (which was today), i bumped into a friend just back from scotland, a lovley guy, but quite, how can i say this, mysoginst. But not in a bad way, in a jokey, im saying it becuase you expect me too and all that, kinda way. He was just coming out of the office as i was coming into the building, with his cheque book in hand, and so, lo and behold, finances came in somewhere along the way, and of course, the whole shebang came up. I just smiled and laughed lightly.

It made me think : what would people's reaction be if i did say "well, actually, i do escort." And to be honest, i haven't got a clue.

I know one persons reaction, and she was great. I told one of closest friends in halls the other night, unfortunately when i was horrifically drunk, though, perhaps, sub conciously, i got drunk so that i could tell her...But, she's a close friend, i pretty much knew that it would be ok, and that she wont tell people. But its other people, aquantances (ok, i really can't spell that word) that i want to know about.

One of the reasons i am cautious, perhaps, is that i know when a group of people finds out i'm a transsexual woman, the dynamic between us changes, generally not for long, but just for long enough that i realise they know, and just subtly enough so that its not obvious and i dont get offended. It hasn't caused any major problems so far (well except my parents), but i like things the way they are no, i actually have really good friends for the first time ever, and i dont want that to change.

What's even more weird, is that i guess most people would think to an extent that im just doing this for the money, except, i'm not, which might make it all the more odd if they knew ;)

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