Carry On .... Escorting

Oooh what a palava! (cant think who it was who used to say that?!)
Been out to visit a gent tonight at his hotel, lovely exclusive Georgian hotel in commuter belt country. Fortunately as you will see both of us were running a bit late, him because his flight was delayed and me deciding to drive as the trains were playing up (wrong sort of sunshine?)
Pleased with myself for finding the hotel straight off I pulled into the driveway, the plan was that my gent would meet me by the entrance and we would amble up to his room together. A strange site greeted me, not one gentleman waiting patiently by the door but the entire residents of the hotel, being a private hotel there must have only been 25 or so people standing there, but there they were, fire bell ringing standing there, some in their jimmy jams idly watching the lady pulling up in her car!
I rang my gents phone as requested and watched the little crowd to see who would answer a mobile, sure enough a gent similar age to myself picked up, we decided that the only option was for me to join him. All eyes were watching me get (hopefully gracefully) out of the car and join Mr. X in the gaggle of people.
Making polite talk with Mr X, and wondering how long we would all be standing there I was suddenly aware of a buzzing coming from my bag, dont think at this point Mr.X could hear anything until I fumbled in my bag to find my new rampant rabbit thruster had turned itself on, frantically trying to turn the blasted thing off I managed to turn it up a speed so it was thrusting manically in my bag with the vibrations getting stronger by the minute. A rather stern looking lady standing next to me was looking quite alarmed at my bag as the vibrations were causing loose change to clink and rattle inside, once again I put my hand inside the bag and fumbled blindly with the switches only this time I managed to turn the clitoral stimulater on as well, my bag seemed to have come alive, the lady stepped away fearing I imagine that I had Basil the rat in there! Well the ice was well and truly broken with Mr.X! At last I managed to stop it by fiddling with the batteries.
The next fiasco was the rollcall of residents everyone had to put their hands up when their name was called out to check no-one was in the building. By this time I thought I had stepped onto the set of Candid Camera, after a few names were called out and accounted for another was called out "Miss Swallow" my gent looked at me and whispered "Is that you"? "No sorry not me". Next name "Miss Love" "that could be me" I said.
To cap it all the next name was called out ... unbelievably the name "Randy Riot" echoed across the courtyard "Is that you"? I whispered to Mr. X.
The firebrigade turned up and thankfully we were counted back into the hotel. Everyone was accounted for plus one extra guest... Mr.X had somehow acquired one buxom strumpet in the melee.
Jx

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