Friends and feelings (Cabernet sauvignon induced)

Been out tonight for dinner with some close friends followed by bumping into a lot of old and good acquaintances in the pub afterwards,think there were about a dozen or so of us in the end about eight guys and four girls, gosh we have had a few which is not a good thing if I decide put fingers to keyboard. Started off in a new French restaurant that has opened in a local town with just the four of us. I love my friends, they love me too and know so much about me and my life and loves, my relationships, my indepth side, they are there if I need them and vice versa the sort of long term friendships that can be left for a couple of years and then take off where you started from. They think I am deep, Im not that deep really but of course there is one major part of my life that they don't know about. Seems strange really, laughing and joking tonight and the joke was on me,"God ***** why have you not got a man?" when was the last time you saw a cock?" "Bet you have forgotten how to do it?" So I play along with it telling them that yes I haven't had sex in ages. A couple of the guys in our group I have had short flings with, they know that I am highly sexed and thoroughly enjoy nearly every aspect of it, indeed one of them (who I don't know in that way) has made it blatently obvious tonight what he feels for me, he has admitted he has been "In lust" with me for twenty years!! Strangely I am shy in this sort of situation when someone is openly telling me what they feel, I come across as maybe a bit snooty although I don't mean to but in this case I just don't feel the same way for him, shame really as he is a lovely chap but if the feelings are not reciprocated on my behalf it is not fair to play him along.
I look at my friends and just know that they would not believe it if they knew the secret part of my life they think they know me well, they think I am not having a sex life, little do they realise I have most probably had more cocks than they have had hot dinners and that I am a whore, yes not a pretend one but a real life one ... strange, strange world but yes they are right I am deep, I like it, I love to have a secret side to my life I always have and always will but nothing will top this for a secret life ... I love it ...

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